I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
