Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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