I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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