Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it's not cheating when I paid for it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
