pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
