Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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