i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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