Non-Jews are for practice
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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