BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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