yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
