i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
