everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
