He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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