her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Randomize
