I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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