the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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