Umm I'm too high to move.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize