My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
