Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
