I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
