i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
