It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Alive.
So much puke
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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