that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just invented taco cereal.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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