I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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