His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
