that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
