I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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