Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
