does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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