the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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