How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
