Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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