he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
