is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
