Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
