didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
