I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
