Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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