I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
