I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
