God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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