I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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