just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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