Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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