My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
