i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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