you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
