this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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