I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
