grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I currently don't understand fingers.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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