I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He has the fingertips of a God
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