have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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