i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just gift wrapped bread.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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