Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
