I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
