halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
