Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize