Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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