just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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