you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
