it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
